These types of statements may result in hurt feelings. Don’t make assumptions about the religious beliefs of the person experiencing the loss.Offer practical assistance like bringing over food, running errands, helping with their kids, contacting people that need to be contacted about a death. Do reassure them that you will always be there to listen when they need to talk.Don’t say, “Let me know what I can do.” People in the midst of grief may not be able to identify what they need or have the energy to ask for help.For many, there is comfort in knowing that the person who has died will be remembered fondly by others. Express a favorite memory about the person that has died and gauge their reaction. Don’t assume the person mourning doesn’t want to talk about the person that has died because it will bring up a painful memory.You can also say, “I am at a loss for words right now.” Instead, a warm hug or a kind gesture like holding a hand can make a big difference. If you are uncertain about what to say don’t say anything.Acknowledge that you can’t really know what they are feeling vs.Here are some do’s and don’ts to use as you determine what to say to someone who lost a loved one: Though loss is difficult to deal with, research has shown it get easier with time. Being honest and saying you are at a loss for words or you don’t know what to say can be a good starting point.
Because we grieve in different ways this may not be the correct thing to say.
People often want the person grieving not to feel they are alone and may try to say something to indicate you understand how they are feeling. There is nothing to say that can offer a quick fix even though you don’t want to see someone you care about in emotional pain. 1 Whether a person lost a parent, child, or is already grieving in anticipation, it is normal not to know what to say. Researchers on grief and loss suggest that listening is a key part of helping a grieving friend heal. It is experienced in different ways based on the individual and their relationship/connection to the loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no timeline for when grief ends.
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